School Bus Blues

Since his first, shining days of kindergarten, Son has always ridden the bus to school. I'd watch him out the windows, wave him on, all that good stuff.

Until this year. This year school decreed that Son had to walk because he is within this magical, invisible 1-mile ring around the school. No more school bus for you, kid.

We measured, just for the heck of it, with the mile ticker thingy attached to the bike. Our driveway is on the mile line exactly. For real, if he went and stood on our property line he'd be outside the mile line. But, rules are rules, so he had to walk/ride his bike, etc... across 4 lanes of commercial traffic and through several intersections to get to school. Oh, my gray hairs. Recently, of course, since the weather has gotten cold and miserable we've dropped him off more days than not.

So there I was this morning, minding my own business. I drop him off, pull out to the street and--of course--I get the traffic pileup. I swear, those oncoming drivers KNEW it was me waiting and they slowed down just enough so I would get stuck waiting. And waiting. The minivan behind me starts beeping at me. I'm like, WTF? There's a line of traffic a mile long in either direction and nowhere for me to go!! And the school is on a main thoroughfare so it's not like people stop and wave you in. Oh, no. They've got their coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, knee against the steering wheel, practically kissing the bumper in front of them.

So I wait, and wait, and see my opportunity--except for this one car. Who--you guessed it--SLOWS DOWN. I'm yelling "Hurry UP!!!" through my windshield, clutching the wheel like it's a lifeline and finally he passes me and I scream out into traffic. I impressed even myself.

Then--it was inevitable, I guess--I get someone else in another minivan who has to pull in front of me because going the speed limit was just too slow for him/her and stops in front of me at the light. The very intersection I needed to turn at, and he's just sitting up there like a bump on a log.

So I'm grinding all the enamel off my teeth and what should go by but a school bus. A 2/3 EMPTY school bus. A school bus that could very easily have picked up my son on the way up my street which I can't get down because of the lunkhead in front of me.

I'm considering switching lots with one of our retired neighbors. It would take a lot of time, money and aggravation to move two houses around, but in the end the retired neighbor would be closer to the senior citizen's center in the park.

And we'd be outside the 1-mile line.