Thursday, July 10, 2008

(just call me "Dictionator")

I love words, truly. I love reading them and writing them and I may even paint some on the walls of my new house. But there are some words, or strings of words, out there that I've never cared for, or grown to dislike over the years:

1. Enough. It sets you up to inevitably fall short: Not good enough. You don't trust me enough. When you start setting terms of "enough", nothing ever is enough.
2. Should. A dictating word that always makes me feel like I don't measure up.
3. "See what I'm sayin'?" Actually, no. Unless you live in a comic strip and use speech bubbles, I cannot SEE what you are saying.
4. Mega. This isn't even a word, really, but popular culture cut it off from its big brothers and sisters and it has been drifing around ever since, latching onto advertising and giving one and all the impression that you must have/be/do/ingest/wear/possess something Mega to be cool.
5. "Have a good one!" Yes, I've used this myself. Still, every time I hear it I want to ask: Have a good what? What exactly is the one?
6. Pussy. As used to describe female genitalia. It's just so... ridiculous. And if you use it on me in bed I'll succumb to a giggling fit and totally lose the mood. And speaking of which:
7. Penis. I truly understand why men have names for their "unit". I mean, penis is such an unsavory, clinical, sterile word. Don't use this word on me in bed either. I'll probably throw up. Or break out the HazMat suit. And best of all:
8. Crotch. This has to be one of the worst sounding, worst spelled words in the universe.
9. "Let me see..." Three words guaranteed, in my mind, to spawn a lie. Thank you, FS.
10. Oozing. Gives me a serious case of the shudders. Generates too-vivid imagery.
11. "Your point being?" Obnoxious factor aside, I can't handle the grammar torture.
12. Wrong. Conversation heads quickly south after this word comes in to play.
13. Slug. Another shudder-producing word. Slippery, slimy...eeeuww!
Time to share! What tops your least-favorite list?


Rhonda Stapleton said...

ROFL--yes, crotch has to be on there...what a lovely work. It's really guttural and unattractive-sounding.

Robyn said...

Do we need a workshop on penile terms for the euphemistically challenged? Dare you!

The word thwart gets me giggling. Sounds like a noise a kids bouncy toy should make. Inevitably has me repeating it in quick succession: thwart thwart thwart thwart...

spyscribbler said...

Crotch always reminds me of a smell this one college boyfriend had down there when he didn't shower for a day or two.


StarvingWriteNow said...

Robyn, we totally need to do that! It could be a cross-blog learning experience: Male Members 101 or Rods and Staffs and Willies, Oh My!

Yes, crotch is one of the most awfully spot-on words ever!

Bernita said...

Agree with many of yours.
"Crotch" can be effective though. As in "I wish Repubs would get their nose out of Clinton's crotch."
Now, a word I do like is for one of those tiny plant bugs called a "thrip."

Stewart Sternberg said...

Penis, crotch and oozing in the same list...just is worrisome. You know it would be a fun writing assignment to take this list and write 700 words using all the words in the list at least once.

Missie said...

The F word. I despise the f word in all its various usages and derivatives. There is absolutely no point ever in using it. It is vile and makes the user look way less than educated.