Monkey In The Middle

I hate being pushed into the middle of conflict. I'm not good at conflict generally; I prefer to have a happy, peaceful existence full of butterflies and sunny days. However, conflict comes to all of us. Sometimes it's directly between me and one other person, and I deal with it as the situation warrants.

Other times, I get yanked in to a conflict that has nothing to do with me and I end up playing referee, peacekeeper, bad cop.

Those times suck. Unfortunately, I'm having one of those times now.

Sweetheart and Son are wrestling through the inevitable male post-pissing contest. Son is hitting puberty, and is challenging Sweetheart's authority in a big way. They are in a deadlock at the moment that is spiralling downward, and guess who's getting sucked in?

And of course, nothing I can say, nothing I suggest is met with any grace or appreciation. Just "You're not supporting me".

Well excuse me for not always agreeing 100%. Frankly, it's just plain common sense that if your current approach to parental authority is not working, you change your approach. You realize that the intellect of a 12 year old is still pretty black and white, you stop expecting them to rationalize like an adult and you bring the hammer down. Hard.

My issue here is that I agree with Sweetheart and think that Son is being too disrespectful. But I feel like if I take up the charge, that Son will see me once again sticking up for Sweetheart and that this will--in his pubescent mind-- make Sweetheart look weak. And Son will continue to challenge him and disrespect him, and the cycle will just start all over. But on the other hand I can't just say nothing either. It's a narrow beam I have to walk, and I'm not looking forward to it at all.