Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday, dear meeee
Happy Birthday to me!!!!

Oh yes, folks, this year I've hit 40. It's supposed to be a milestone, and in honor of that milestone, I'll look back on my life and relate some things I've learned.

Wiping out on a bicycle in a gravel driveway hurts really bad.
Everyone should go to Egypt at least once in their lifetime.
Sometimes divorce is not only necessary, it's preferable!
You can start over with nothing.
Delivering a baby gives any woman bragging rights FOR LIFE.
Power steering is a gift from God.
I will never not have a cat in my life.
Sometimes, no matter how nice you are to houseplants, they die anyway.
A comfortable bed is a must. Electric blankets are pretty cool, too.
I'll NEVER look good in hats.

Profound, huh? Well, what did you expect? I'm not the Dalai Lama or anything!