Monday, December 17, 2007

'Tis the season... to... huh?

The following covers came up under "Christmas Romance" and I'm still scratching my head.

Okay, the green thingy might be a last-minute airbrushed piece of mistletoe. But sorry, Texas Hold-em doesn't qualify as "Christmassy" unless... umm... It just doesn't. (PS: Does that guy look like Barry Manilow to you?)

Sure, there's a tree. But where are the warm fuzzies? Instead of "holly jolly" I sense more "It's gonna blow! Get down quick!"

I need help here(that title is asking for a good snark, for one!). Not only with trying to figure out how this relates to Christmas, but also whether or not the boy on the left has had his toes cut off in a freak farming accident or he's a victim of foot binding.
12:45 pm: Doorstep Daddy... why is he on the doorstep? Did he lose his key? Is he not welcome inside? Did he and Back Porch Mommy have a little fight? Does the freaky foot-bound child have anything to do with him being on the doorstep? Inquiring minds want to know!
Christmas? Valentine's Day? Either? Neither? Both? This guy reminds me of that assistant cop to McGarrett on Hawaii 5-0 (now who's old and dated?).
And what's with the safety pin through the heart near the bottom?
Happy Monday, folks.


spyscribbler said...

It's a Valentine's Christmas!

Foot binding makes me shudder, LOL.

Happy Monday to you, too!

Bernita said...

"It's gonna blow! Get down quick!"
My thought too!
Run, run!

StarvingWriteNow said...

Darn christmas trees, just when you think you've got them under control...

Robyn said...

These are cheese-tastic.

But am I the only woman who thinks kids on a cover are totally UN-romantic? I see kids and start thinking, "Gee, he needs to tie his shoelace or he's gonna trip, and you should never encourage children to play on picnic tables because before you know it they'll be jumping off it and break a leg, and they really need to cover that baby up in the cold night air..." and so on until I have firmly Mom'd myself and cannot get into a Yes! Hunk! mood in order to enjoy the story.

StarvingWriteNow said...

I totally agree, Robyn!

Missie said...

I, too, was thinking, "Wait! It's December and she's outside with that baby with no hat on its head or no blanket over it? What kinda Mommy is she? She needs a Christmas Clue on how to be a good mom, for cryin out loud.

And on Doorstep Daddy? What happened to the rest of that other kid's body? Is he only a head and torso? Was he involved in a freak accident and is now known as HalfBoy? Was it dad's fault and that's why he's on the doorstep? I just don't know.

The rest are just too horrible to contemplate, but thanks for doing it.