THIRTEEN INSULTS FOR ANY OCCASION

(or, at least, one or two occasions...)

1. "You look like the vermin-ridden son of a bitch you are." John Wayne, The Cowboys

2. "Out of my sight, thou dost infect mine eyes!" Richard III

3. “You cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit!” Chevy Chase, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

4. “I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed, animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” Monty Python and the Holy Grail

5. "You are a senile, buck-toothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!'' From Homer's letter to Mr. Burns on The Simpsons

6. "Dung heap!" From The Cowboys (followed by a solid whap with a cowboy hat in the bad guy's face--classic!)

7. "Damn her, lewd minx!" Othello

8. "You are just a suit." Meg Ryan, You've Got Mail

9. "...and you, miss, are no lady." Rhett Butler, Gone With The Wind

10. "You willy wivvered wouse!" Elmer Fudd

11. "I'd offer you some fruits or nuts, but I see you've got them on either side of you..." (don't remember the TV show; I think it might have been Simon&Simon--awesome insult to the bad guy's henchmen)

12. "You baskavich! You glob-singin hopsicklefifer!" Ralphie's dad, A Christmas Story (and I'm totally guessing on the spelling, there)

13. "...and don't think it hasn't been fun--'cause it hasn't!" Bugs Bunny

What's your favorite? Share! And feel free to spread the love today with a few choice insults of your own!