Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thanks to cell phones, coffee clatches, mommy & me and all those other public meetings, the most amazing things come out of people's mouths--and sadly, they don't seem to care that they just exposed their privacy for the whole world to enjoy.
1. "Well, my nipples got all cracked and infected and I couldn't nurse her any more."
2. "I'm just going to have to take that $50,000 out of the business account..."
3. "Oh, my God, I would never get my clit pierced."
4. "I know the roof is leaking, but I'm not telling anyone. I'll just paint over the spot."
5. "My boss is sooo stupid."
6. "I was in labor for fifteen hours and I totally tore when his head came out."
7. "I made out with Scott at that party but I never told Jen."
8. "She's such a bitch. Don't tell her I said that, though."
9. "Then he said he wanted to do me from behind..."
10. "My implant won't move down like it's supposed to..."
11. "...and when I came downstairs, he had his diaper off and there was poo on the floor!"
12. "I don't know how everybody found out about it."
13. "Her husband felt me up at the Christmas party."
What's the craziest thing you've heard in public lately? Share!


Robyn said...

It isn't what I've heard, it's what I've seen. Standing behind a counter at a restaurant apparently makes you blind and invisible, at least to people who want to:

A. Scratch their crotches
B. Pick their noses
C. Examine their nipple rings for infection
D. Full-on copulate with their significant others

I'm so, so glad I'm out of that business.

Steve Malley said...

Well, I did hear the leprechaun telling me to start fires, but I hear him in private, too....


Thanks for dropping by my blog, and keep going with the word count!

Bernita said...

12. "I don't know how everybody found out about it."
oh, the irony!

Robyn said...

Just wanted to add I'm blogging again- address in my profile. Come have fun!

Lana Gramlich said...

Years ago I heard (on a bus); "The b!tch be so polluted she cain't even have a kid."