I feel that today's latest installment in My Life 101 is worthy of consideration. After all, it's not every day the Former Boyfriend I Mistakenly Thought Would Be Husband calls and asks for a big favor from The Love Of His Life That He Just Wouldn't Suck It Up For. I was tempted, Lord, to deny that louse any favor of me; I was tempted to show him the door and kick his trashy ass to the curb and send him ki-yi-ing down the street with his mangy tail between his faithless legs; I was tempted by the juicy fruit of the NO branch, followed by the succulent fruits of the HELL NO tree. Sin was beckoning with both hands.
Did I sink into the depths of temptation? No, I did not. I may have quizzed him mercilessly, I may have asked questions better not voiced, but I resisted the urge of NO and called upon my humane-ness and said I would pick him up from surgery if--and only if--he could not find any other alternative.
Yes, Lord, I realize I may yet get out of this obligation, which could render my application invalid. But please consider the fact that I resisted sin and temptation (a true difficulty under the circumstances) and humanely said okay before you reject the application.
Thank you for your time, and have a nice day!
Sincerely Yours,
Elizabeth
6 Comments:
Dear Lord,
If you are not inclined to make her a saint, please at least allow her into Heaven.
Your daughter,
Missie
p.s. She is waaay nicer than me, Lord. I would have told FS to take out a personal ad for a ride home.
Update: He got another ride. I didn't have to do anything. Bless his little pea-picking heart.
"pea-picking heart"
What a description! Crazy guy.
I'll second that nomination.
I am not in your league. I would have told him there are taxis for such contingencies.
I would have told him to crawl home on bloody knees.
LOLOLOL!!!! You guys rock!
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