Thursday, September 11, 2008


THIRTEEN EMAIL SUBJECTS FROM MY SPAM BOX

1. ***Hot singles in your area are looking to meet! (I wonder if I count here...)
2. Why haven't you claimed your $500? (If it wasn't for those pesky catches...)
3. How morons make millions (I've got a college degree. No wonder I'm poor.)
4. Dumb and poor? Here's a simple way to make MONEY! (Ditto...)
5. Would you meet me tonight if I was SPICY or if I was SWEET? (Depends; are you a Dorito or a Snickers bar? Either way, I'm there!)
6. Getting Fat? Get Phetramine. Get Skinny. (Do they know I've had too many Doritos and Snickers?)
7. Shh did you hear about how BIG he was? (Why are you whispering? Shout it from the treetops, girl!)
8. Do you have an Ortho Evra Brith Control patch? (Last time I checked it was BIRTH control)
9. GET A DATE IN 24 HOURS OR LESS!!!!!! (Oh boy! Pick me! Pick me! I'm a hot single in my area!)
10. Learn how to go on a 3-day vacation for only $59.95! (This is simple: Fill up your gas tank then sit on your lawnchair in your driveway with an umbrella for shade and a cooler at your feet and stare at the car for 3 days.)
11. Newly discovered body transformation formula. (Whose body will I get? Heidi Klum's or Oprah's?)
12. Asbestos exposure is shown to cause serious problems. (Wow. Really? No kidding!)
13. Clean your colon (It's a colon. Last stop on the line, right? Isn't it "dirty" by default? Okay, I'm feeling all oogy now...)

What's the latest in your spam box? Share!

5 Comments:

Robyn said...

I feel so important when the princes of small African countries want me to launder their money.

Missie said...

I am actually getting friend requests on my facebook account from people I have never heard of. How's that for personal spam?

spyscribbler said...

ROFL! And yes, Robyn, me too! To think, royalty contacting me!

;-p

StarvingWriteNow said...

The princes gave up on me... I'm chasing men away in droves, I tell ya! Maybe I could market this somehow, and sell it online, via spam... hmm...

Bernita said...

Messages about watches and whangs is all I get.
Who needs fakes of either?