JUST PUT A BAND-AID ON IT

So there I was, minding my own business...

I went to a dermatologist today for the first time to get my skin looked at; in particular, a small growth on my nose that has been bugging me (I'm so vain...) for years. I thought they were going to do the typical consult, then schedule an appointment for removal, blah de blah...

Oh, heck no, brothers and sisters. They shot some lidocaine into my nose

HURT! HUURRRRT!!!! MOTHER F-ING OWWWW!!!

then took a scalpel and started cutting. Mind you, I was still shedding tears over the shot, then I felt the blade and winced a little and

THEY GAVE ME ANOTHER SHOT. F!!!!!!!!

Can you say "levitate", kids? That's right, I rose up like Linda Blair with the devil in her.

Anyway, after that my nose felt fine, they finished hacking off my "witches wart", as Son calls it, plastered a band-aid on it, gave me some take-home instructions and sent me out.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am and come again. I can't wait to see the insurance statement for this.