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THIRTEEN STEPS ON THE LADDER OF PAIN

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Yes, your Humble Servant has been in a world of pain these last few days. Dental Surgery. Ow. Owwwwwwww I say! So for your consideration I list below some painful moments in life that we all know and love:

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1. Hangnails. I personally get the super hangnails that grow under my fingernails and need to be dug out and clipped. It's a joy, truly.

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2. Paper cuts. Especially when you get one way down on the web between your fingers.

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3. Stubbing your toe. I have literally seen stars afterward.

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4. Bumping your head. This can range from mildly annoying to flat-out unconscious.

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5. Whacking your funny bone. It ain't humerus, folks (har har har).

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6. Waking up with a stiff neck. God, I hate that, and the stupid thing'll last all day.

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7. Taking a hit in the eye. Now, I've never been punched by anyone, but I have managed to punch myself (it's a long story), and managed to put my eye in the way of several flying objects.

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8. Biting your lip/inside of your cheek. Inevitably, you'll bite it again, and again, and again...

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9. Earache. Shudder.

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10. Hitting your pubic bone. Talk about wanting to throw up from pain.

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11. Toothache/Dental Surgery. Nothing wears you out like pain in your mouth. It totally, completely, absolutely SUCKS.

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12. Serrated knife cuts. Double your pleasure, double your fun! Get blood everywhere and shred your flesh while you're at it!

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13. Childbirth. Oy. (Yes, my little bundle of joy was worth it but it hurt like a mother!)

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The word of the day is commiserate! Share your pain with me, people!