John was a nice guy who liked to roll his shirts up past his elbows. He met Tracy, beautiful, blonde and fond of orange widewale corduroy dresses. He thought they were soulmates... he gathered her close, leaned in for the big moment and...
...she turned her head and whispered, "I--I'm sorry, John! I just couldn't love a man who parts his hair down the center like that! Oh, God, I can't bear to look! Please understand, I wish you only the best in life! Can we still be friends?"